Yesterday I say myself was on depression. Well, maybe that was yesterday. Life is weird. We could think of negative thoughts with just a blink of an eye.
Actually do I really have depression? Or probably I was just trying to escape from ‘captivity’? Did I actually made my own depression? The depression was create by myself or was it really my life here is create depression in me?
I was really blurred. I was wrong after all. I probably just did not have any depression after all. it’s all about mind game. When it comes to certain mind games like yesterday or the past whole week, I lost that game. I totally lost out. Do I really deserved to even score in that game? I really do not know.
But I escaped ‘captivity’ and has a burden less on my shoulders. I was just being lonely all these while that a sudden change in life can affect me so much that I put myself into depression state.
I felt very disappointed that I could not fight on to try to win the game. But that disappointment just have to come. I probably might just have disappointed a few others including my parents on this. But if I was to continue fighting on, there are going to be two endings, to die or to conquer. We will never know the future. I dare not take this risk as it really involves serious matters.
Now it’s over, and the issue might just had been a very simple and small issue. But I hope that it’s all going to start anew. Not all in this world can be like Abraham Lincoln. Not everyone could walk the path of Thomas Edison. We should create our own path ourselves. May it be simple with very traditional way, as long as we are happy with it, life goes on.
